WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
