And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
