Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Green mimosas i think yes
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
