so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
