everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
