ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
