This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
