ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have fence marks all over my body
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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