after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
