I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize