I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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