I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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