This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
