So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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