I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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