How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
