Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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