I just cut my nipple shaving
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
