I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
