meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
