Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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