I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
