wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
