Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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