NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
