what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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