woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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