Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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