i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you never un-have a 4some
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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