So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
