did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
