If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
