I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
