you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
