remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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