Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
