Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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