Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
