Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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