You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
