I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
