If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
