There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
