Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
