I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
