Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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