Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Randomize
