Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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