I'm eating all of the evidence.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
