Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Help. Why am I so naked?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
