Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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