Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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