I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
