woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
