I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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