i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize