last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
as a side note pls kill me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
