what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
