If i come over, it means nothing
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
