this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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