What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
